So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
