Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize