Quick, to the slutcave!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
