she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
