brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
