My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
