I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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