guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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