We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
