i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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