i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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