Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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