And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
