Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Fuck appropriateness.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
