Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
