Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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