Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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