Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
