Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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