dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Randomize