its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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