If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Come see our sink grown plant.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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