dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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