I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize