I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
