You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
