when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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