hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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