you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
