we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
