One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud š³
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I need advice on ways to politely say āfuck you on your way to hellā.
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