I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
