How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Your cock deserves a montage
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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