im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
