I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
