omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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