omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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