just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
