I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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