the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
