I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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