The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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