OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
