You really coming over, don't trick.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
