I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
What a dumb baby whore.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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