No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
