Your tits are I can't wait for
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
