i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
