with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
