Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
