Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
