Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
