lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
