ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
