roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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