This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
