home. puking in laundry basket.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
