Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
