Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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