I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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