Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
