Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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