She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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